Oh my, how fast two months can go by. I mean, think of it. Two months ago, I wasn't in college; I was still in the limbo period between High school and College, not sure of what to be in college but sure of what I didn't want to be due to experiences in High School. Fast foward two months and see how things have changed.
I've settled in. I've made new friends. I have a girlfriend. I've done dumb things and I've done smart things. I've learned. I've studied and gotten good grades, and I've failed to study and thus reaped the consequences. I have a job (which I'm at as I write this blog) which is a good prep towards my (hopefully) eventual job. This has become the new normal for me.My, how things change, no?
Yet, I sometimes I still long for the past, for my old friends, my old life. Yes, they were nice; life was much less-stressful and we had a lot less on our plate. Yet, life has to move on, and it's best not to get left behind, like some people I've seen have done. The new friends I have are great! I truly believe God put all of them into my life for a reason! But my old friends are truly invaluable, too. As I look back, I realize how friggin' awesome we were together, and how many good times we had. Whether it be Zombie 5k's, Spring Break trips, or simply sleeping over at each others' houses and spending time with each other, I honestly don't regret anything that's been done. Everything that's happened has been for a reason.
As I look at all of my friends move on with their lives, it's super-comforting to know that we'll always be friends and can come back and pick up where we left off. Sure, I get sad sometimes when I see their Facebook status' and pictures with people I don't know, but when I think about it, I'm doing the exact same thing. My social circle is so different now than it was months ago, but that's not a bad thing! Having TWO awesome friend groups is better than just one awesome friend group.
Yet oddly enough, I've categorized my past few years into categories:
The pre-drama years - freshmen + sophomore years of high school
In these years, I was just getting the swing of High School life. Coming from a small private school, it was a big change. I had my first girlfriend, first break-up, and first many things. These years seem so foreign, but when you think of it, they really weren't that far back. I had a few close friends during this period and was so wrapped up with high school life that anything else seemed pretty irrelevant and foreign. Time seemed to creep by. Life wasn't bad.
The exposure year(s) - late sophomore - junior years of high school
In these years, I left the nest officially. I went to Spain for a month, which is arguably one of the most compelling events in my life so far, and I went to California for a band trip. I was out and about a lot and developed a lot too. Another critical aspect of this era was the development of the relationship with my current best friends, Allison, Amelia, and Matt. The former two started dating, but that didn't really affect me until the next years...
The dark year - senior year
These years, they, well, they were rough, I'm not going to lie. College was now in view, and we were not interested in the usual shennanigans of High School life anymore. My friend Matt's girlfiend left to Thailand, and that was stressful. Here's where I really developed a deep relationship with him, one that continues to this day. I also cemented my friendship with the core circle of my high school friends. I had different friend circles in different groups, and here they really started to all come together. Yes, it was a little weird for me having my friends know each other, hang out with each other, and interact without me being the medium, but I got over it!
But don't be persuaded by the title. Just because there were some dark periods - and I do mean dark in all aspects, weather, decisions (I didn't go out for swimming that year), girl problems for all, friend drama - doesn't mean that there weren't awesome times too. Some of my best memories originate from this period of my life, memories that I will always hold on to. We went on our first Spring Break trip without adults to my grandparents house in Baraboo, near the Wisconsin Dells. We ran from Zombies and I (unfortunately not Matt) survived! We had countless nights together where we just talked about life, about the future (much of which we're now living), God, and other things. Gender, sex, and other things didn't really matter anymore, I was so close with most of them I could stay up late nights with my friend Allison and just chill, having it be no big deal. In many ways, I yearn to return to these days.
The current years - college and beyond
Yet, life goes on. Here I am, at Carroll University in Waukesha WI, living life on my own (for the most part) as a college student. Yeah, it's hard. Yeah, it can get tough. But it IS fun and worth it. All of the new experiences I've had are unforgettable. It got off to a rocky start, but it's only taken off from there. The Cross guys I've met have been probably one of the highlights; they made me realize how much I enjoy being apart of a team. The season was fun!
Yet I have more friends, too! The various circles I have, just like high school, support me in different ways, and I appreciate that a lot. At the same time, I've struggled with a lot of things, mainly tempations and beliefs. It's true: in college you're hit with alot of decisions, and not all of the outcomes are good. I trust God that he'll see me through to the end in one piece, but I can't guarantee I'll come out unscathed. But that's life, honestly. We make mistakes. We learn from them. We carry on. As long as I know Jesus as my Savior and do the most I can to honor him, my life will always have some redeeming quality.
Being in college also made me miss my high school friends that much more, yet it also made me realize how good we had it. Never again can we return to those last months of high school-land, living with most of the freedoms of college, yet non of the responsibilites. Yes, it was nice, but it had to end. Here we are in real life now, living and making our own paths.
The decisions we make affect everyone around us, so choose carefully. Yet remember there is always hope and forgiveness in at least one person, Jesus Christ. I don't mean to get all preachy but he truly is the one unbreakable bond you can have. And while I definately don't honor him in all I do here in college, I won't deny that bond ever.
Well, I'm going to stop now because honestly, I would keep going for paragraphs about this stuff, had I the time and energy. Time for rest,
Adios, Blogosphere!
Jacob
