Fading Anonomously

My first question: why is it 63 degrees in almost-July?

Answer: Because it's Minnesota and it can.

My second question: why do I have so many weird thoughts at night?

Answer: Because I'm alone and can think straight.

My third question: How am I doing in life?

Answer: Complicated.

So much can happen in a week, a month, a year. Barely one year ago, I didn't have any of the college experiences I do now, know any of those people, nor have any of these expectations. All I had was my high school diploma, my group of close friends and family, and my faith in God. I still remember that last day, at the All Night Grad Party, sitting on my cooler and resting as I waited for my ride. All of the students - if we could be called that anymore - started to limp out of the high school one more time, tired from a night of intense fun and hilarity. Yet as I sat there, the somber realization came upon me that I'm never going to see a majority of these people ever again. Granted, I knew but a fraction of my class, but it still was scary. Plus, hearing of all of their great plans and what they wanted to do in college and life made my plans feel inferior.
Let's fast forward a year, to now.
With my friend group reconvening and bonding again this summer, we all had stories to tell. Everyone seems to have that one drunk story, that one "I can't believe he did that" story, and that one heartbreak story from college. Yet, sometimes the most interesting stories are the ones that stayed back. I know for certain there are many kids whose college plans did not work out according to plan for various reasons, the most common being too much partying. So, they throw their current plans out the door and come back to work for a year or two. Now, it's not the end of the world, but it definitely doesn't help the overall goal. I guess my point is, am I really going to do something with this plan and aspirations that I have, or am I just going to fail and fade into anonymity like so many other of my former classmates? Classmates who, at the ten year reunion, look tired, out of shape, and just generally beaten down? Or am I going to be that one that everyone goes, "dang, couldn't have seen that one coming!"?

I will fight to be in the latter.

Jacob