So Far Apart

We all feel (and fall) apart (yes, I recgonize that is not spelled correctly; go with it) at some point. The reasons and how we show it vary, but every person, from the strongest man to the quietest girl, feel apart at some point. From there, they might fall apart, which again manifests itself in different ways. It's an uncomfortable thought, especially in our individualistic "I'll take care of it myself" culture, but it's the unfortunate truth.

My inspiration for this title is KJ-52's song. I recently discovered it, and the lyrics definitely are relatable. KJ is a great rapper and someone to look up to as a role model, especially considering his upbringing in the slums of Florida. He is up there on the list, along with Lecrae, of rappers who should be more well known in today's society.

First off, let me clarify; my life is not really falling apart. Actually, it's quite awesome. I recently was blessed with the opportunity to study in Spain next semester. It's actually happening! Money has been put down, forms submitted, and more importantly, prayers answered. God definitely does work in awesome ways, and the old saying that sometimes he says "wait" to our requests has never been truer. Granada, Spain will be my home starting in January, and to say that I'm thrilled would be an understatement.

Uh, yes please.

Yet, God gives and he takes away. Other aspects of my life have not been as fun. Relationships end, friendships are strained, thoughts are corrupting; most of the time they are manageable, but man, does it get tiring constantly reinforcing the good things and fighting off the bad. We all fall, and in the American colleges and Universities, that is especially true. I mean, not all the stereotypes are true, but a large percentage of them. 

Not all stereotypes are true. For example, Netflix is much more attractive to me than going out on most Friday nights.

Yet the future terrifies me. Somewhere, among all the people I'll encounter, people I'll know forever are waiting. I'm guessing I already know some. But think of it! The future friend forever, the future travel buddy, maybe even the future wife! (what, you actually thought I was going to say that in certainty?) I'm discovering that as one relationship ends, the hardest part isn't getting over it, but moreover controlling your anxiety about the future relationships you'll be making.

So, to get to the point, I feel very far apart in many categories of life. Yet in others, I've never felt closer. How does this work? I really couldn't answer you. If I could, I wouldn't be blogging about it with so many question marks! The only thing that's been able to remotely control me is staying busy (not that hard), and meeting new people; not dwelling in the past.

So, future, let's do this. I can only imagine what it brings.

Jacob